The Slayers' Alphabet
by bhut
Summary: Behold the adventures of the Watchers' Council, done in ABC!


**The Slayers' Bestialized Alphabet**

 _Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon unless noted otherwise._

 _Note: Courtney belongs to the comic-verse rather than the TV-verse, but it is still Whedon's-verse!_

 **A** is for the **amphisbaena** that Dawn had brought from Rome, a two-headed serpent that found a new home. Watch it chase Andrew around rolling like a hoop! All Slayers agree that is a great hoot!

 **B** is for the **basilisk** that Xander had fought in Cairo's airport, a monster that is part rooster and part dragon! Watch the basilisk spew its' deadly breath at Xander as he kills the monster with a mirror! Watch Xander flee for his life from Harmony, whose last mirror he had broken by smashing it into the monster's head!

 **C** is for the **catoblepas** that Xander has met in the Ethiopian savannah without a mirror to deflect the monster's deadly gaze! Watch the catoblepas charge at Xander with all the power it has! Watch Harmony curse as she helps Xander untangle the catoblepas' carcass from the wreck of their jeep!

 **D** is for **the black dog of doom** that once followed a girl named Nora home before she became a Vampire Slayer and stayed with her ever since! Watch it gaze unobtrusively at Andrew as he tries to ask Nora for a date! Watch Andrew leave unobtrusively without asking Nora for a date as he sees her dog gaze at him in that peculiar way!

 **E** is for the **echeneis** , a tiny fish that is like a remora on mystical steroids! Watch as it attaches itself to a boat of Buffy and Dawn Summers, rendering it perfectly immobile despite all of Buffy's Slayer strength at the oars! Watch as Dawn has to slay it with a fork, held upside down, head first in the water, legs held by Buffy!

 **F** is for the **firedrake** , a great fire-breathing dragon of the North! Watch as it is approached by Giles, Faith, and their new ally, Courtney! Watch as it gives them a lift in gratitude for Faith having freed it from Mayor Wilkins control all those years ago!

 **G** is for the **griffin** , half lion and half eagle! Watch as Giles, Courtney and Faith negotiate a territorial dispute between the leader of their flock and the firedrake! Watch as they receive their fee, one of the griffin's claws that turn blue whenever it comes into contact with poison!

 **H** is for the **hippocampus** , half horse and half fish! Watch as Xander drags Harmony along to help Giles, Faith and Courtney to fight off several merrows or sea-ogres that would eat those magical beasts! Watch Harmony almost drown Xander before the bemused eyes of others for ruining her last make-up set during the amphibious battle!

 **I** is for the **ichneumon** , a tiny critter that is like a mongoose on mystical steroids! Watch as it kills the monstrous crocodile of Set! Watch as the divine wrath of the evil god takes over Xander, his semi-Avatar and sets him after the tribal shaman that had sent the ichneumon on a mission of bloody wrath!

 **J** is for the **javelin snake** , also known as the jaculus! Watch as Wolfram & Hart send one of those magical reptiles on the trail of Courtney, Giles and Faith! Watch as the trio befriends the creature instead with some wine, making it their ally instead!

 **K** is for the **kraken** , a giant octopus-squid monster the size of some islands! Watch as Buffy and Willow sail out to see to talk one into not attacking the state of Rhode Island! Watch as Buffy has to slay it with her Scythe once the negotiations fail!

 **L** is for the **leucrotta** , a monster that gives hyenas a bad name! Watch as Xander uses his skills taught by Set to take over the leadership of one of their packs! Watch as he leads them against a clan of Zulu vampires that night!

 **M** is for the **manticore** , a man-eating monster that is part lion, part man and part scorpion! Watch as Nora and Kennedy hunt one of those monstrosities through the cities of nighttime New Delphi! Watch as they drown it in the Indian Ocean with the help of Nora's dog and its' new friends!

 **N** is for the **nycticorax** , the crow of night! Watch as one of those birds' lands on the shoulder of Faith, calling her "Melinoe" and "mistress" before flying off! Watch Wolfram & Hart's latest scheme being ruined by a flock of uncooperative allies!

 **O** is for the **ozaena** , a slightly smaller relative of the kraken! Watch as the Slayers Kennedy and Nora are caught between it and the vampires on the shore of Gibraltar! Watch as Willow swoops to save the day with her magics and earn the nickname "the Squid Slayer" in the process!

 **P** is for the **phoenix** , the magical bird of fire. Watch as Harmony is tricked by Xander into confronting the great bird in the city of flames, Heliopolis! Watch as certain fey magics that Harmony had earned by double-crossing Wolfram & Hart early on help her survive this encounter and begin to plan her revenge on Xander now!

 **Q** is for the **questing beast** , a monster from the English lore! Watch as Mr. Giles meets King Pellinore! Watch as Wolfram & Hart's schemes are frustrated in England throughout the whole timeline of its' history forever more!

 **R** is for the **roc** , huge bird whose wings cover-up the sky! Watch as Xander swears that Harmony shall die! Watch as Xander climbs out of the mound of roc dung and tries to clean up himself to the best of his ability, given the circumstances and the quality and quantity of his predicament!

 **S** is for the **sphinx** , the human-headed lion! Watch as Xander confronts one of them in the Atlas Mountains and is asked a riddle! Watch as Xander solves the riddle and is allowed to leave with his life!

 **T** is for the **triton** , half man and half fish! Watch as one of them tries to put moves on Dawn, disguised as a regular human! Watch as Dawn's amphisbaena pet sees through that disguise and saves its' mistress life and virtue!

 **U** is for the **unicorn** , the magical beast with a single horn! Watch as Harmony double-crosses her masters at Wolfram & Hart during her tenure with them to save one of those great beasts from a fate worth than death! Watch as it repays her with the power of the karkadann that Harmony later uses to frustrate Xander and prevent him bringing forth the god named Set into the world!

 **V** is for the **vegetable lamb** , half beast and half plant! Watch how Giles, Faith and Courtney team up with Harmony after the situation with Xander to prevent Wolfram & Hart's poachers from capturing some of those creatures prematurely! Watch as they bond and Giles resigns to his fate in having a life more bizarre than a Costeau movie!

 **W** is for the **wyvern** , dragon's two-legged relative! Watch as Wolfram & Hart hires one to attack Giles and his friends! Watch as the wyvern double-crosses them and leads the wrath of the Slayers onto the evil lawyers' heads!

 **X** is for **Xanthus** , a flesh-eating horse! Watch as Buffy carries-out a truly Herculean labour in taming those beasts and riding on their leader! Watch as the Slayers' develop their own cavalry in riding down vampires and demons!

 **Y** is for the **yale** , a beast with rotating horns! Watch as it thanks Kennedy and Nora in freeing New Delphi from the manticore! Watch as the Slayers use the beast's gifts in the upcoming apocalypse!

 **Z** is for the **ziphius** , a giant sea monster that eats whales for breakfast! Watch, as the Slayers have to deal with one of those beasts out in the sea to save the world! And watch the celebratory party of theirs as they celebrate the end of this alphabet!


End file.
